| SJDIKHJSAKJDHSKDK!!!! |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|07:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gorillaz - Tomorrow Comes Today | ] |
Getting closer and closer to finishing up the EGL art community...
and also getting closer and closer to FALLING OVER DEAD!
wanna know why? of course you wanna know why.
because, i am not getting enough meat in my diet.. so, i dont have a lot of iron and now im really sleepy.
but! i would like to share with you something. all book nerds pay attention. in english class we are reading this book. it's called the lord of the flies.. ya ya i know they made it into a movie, but if you haven't read the original book you're missing out cuz it's realllly good.
i failed my math test today! =D
i am in love with the shows delta state, and bromwell high. YOU THINK YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THE DAYS OF THE WEEK! ahhhh well im tired so,
CHOWWWW |
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|
| Yeah yeah yeah |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|09:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nothin | ] |
I know I haven't updated this thing in a while, but that's okay because I have good reason.
I'm working on a couple of new projects and I'm not obligated to tell you what they are.
So go have a cup of tea or something, okay? ^_^ |
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| Sweet XXXisses |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|12:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dirty Vegas - Days Go By | ] |
I don't know what to say.
Life is amazing right now. I feel so dasidhaskjdgheudb. Mmm..
Just listen to music..
To be, and to be human.. these are the times when you realize how great it is to have feelings.
I'm going to enjoy this to it's fullest and get the most out of it as I would from sadness.
If you don't understand what I'm saying, you've never been hurt. |
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| bored... |
[Mar. 24th, 2005|02:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored out of my skull | ] |
| [ | music |
| | keyboards typing, and mouses clicking | ] |
hey hey
nothing much going on really. yes, you read that right it's 2:26 and i'm updating my journal. why you ask? well that's simple. right now im in civics/careers class. i always finish at least 30 minutes early. every single day. lucky for me, im the middle of a project and we need to be in the computer lab.
most of the time when im just in class, i have to sit there with my head on the desk.. for 30 straight minutes, doing absolutely nothing because this class is just that shitty. i bet i have a 90 percent in this class.
anyway on another note, yesterday my mom was supposed to go to the parents teacher interview but couldnt because of nick and everything and tonight the teachers that wanted to talk to the students parents are calling home. >_< my mom knows im doing pretty shitty in math, but she doesn't know that i only have 15 percent. O_O hey, i'm trying though. i'm trying really hard to get that mark up. i've been doing my homework and i understand this parabola business. i think i even actually passed the quiz i had today. we get a quiz every other day in math.. he wants to make sure we're doing our homework.
the homework part is not that bad. i mean, just try your best and hand it in - you get a mark just for completeing it! but in an academic class, if you dont get it.. you fail. those tests hit you hard =(
terry got on my case for doing bad. supposedly he went to my math teacher yesterday during parent teacher interviews and asked how i was doing. so he's making me do good. but now of course, since he wants me to do good, i have to get a great mark. so as soon as i go home afterschool before drawing another piccy to upload to the site, i'll finish my math homework.
which is, by the way, like 2 and a half hours worth of freakin work for christ's sake.
oh well. at least i'll get good marks =P
alright well im gonna go draw or something.
take care all,
chow
p.s. ...wow... i didn't use any captial letters in this whole thing... o_O |
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| Freak Out!!! |
[Mar. 20th, 2005|11:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ..pfft. I WISH I were drunk | ] |
| [ | music |
| | AFI - The Leaving Song Part 2 | ] |
Hey hey
It's noon, yes. And here I am listenin to my music. Oh do I wish I could have a hyper freak out attack right now. Every time I hear this song I wanna go crazy =P
So.. Terry is supposed to be coming over today. Third times the charm. He had a "good reason" for not calling me on Friday and not coming over. Let's just say, it was a good enough reason for me to not think he's a pile of crap, but still a pretty shit ass reason because he's an idiot for his reasoning anyway.
But life goes on.
Hopefully today mom and I are gonna finally bake that fucking king cake, and everyone's gonna jam out to music in the living room, and there's gonna be awws and oohs over my brother, and we'll play yoshi's island - at least I hope. Cuz.. it's noon, and everyone's like.. dead.
I'll wake 'em up =P
Alright I'm off
Chow |
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|
| Oook then |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|10:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Slipknot - Vermillion | ] |
Hey
Well, Terry didn't come over today, and I couldn't get ahold of him - at all. I imagine he just forgot about me, decided to do his own thing.. and I highly doubt he'll come over today to make up for his absence yesterday so forget that I suppose.
Anyway, I'm just sittin' here wondering if I should draw and listening to music.
I broke up with Feira yesterday... kind of ironic really. I broke up with her, because I know I still have feelings for Terry and I can't give her my all with those feelings still there. I just don't feel comfortable dating anyone.
Wow. If I thought I was alone before, now I know how much of an idiot I really am...
Fuck it. I'm better off being shitty. It's so much easier than being fake. |
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| COUGH COUGH COUGH |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|10:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Neuwerld - Skinny Puppy | ] |
Hey hey
Terry's comin' over today, and I give him a tarot reading! I'm so excited that he's gonna be able to see the baby.. he hasn't been over in foreverrrrr. shjdkjSDHkasjdhkasj
I'm really hyper today. I suppose that's a good thing eh? I read over my journal entry for yesterday and I realized just how many times I said crap. It kinda scared me, but hey. That's me for ya. Scary. Quite scary at that.
I think my new word for the day just might be scary.
I posted the sexiest piccy on my site. Here's a link to my site. Check it out you bastards! http://www.cozydeath.com/Faily/fayssketchbook.html . No it's not of me. It's a sketch of my demoness. She kinda looks like the Taurus star sign.
OOOOOOOOOOO! That's an amazing idea. Do a sketchy of all the signs hangin' out er somethin like that. Isn't that a sexy idea? Shut up. You'll think it's awesome once you see my drawing of it.
I'm like so totally obsessed with takes my pain away by jimmy eat world. (I said it like that cuz Ter called me a prep.. WHICH I'M NOT! Christ...) I love the lyrics. But I also love the song thousand mile wish by fingereleven. Such a pretty song.
IT TAKES MY PAIN AWAY! It's a lie! Kiss with open eyes, and she's not breathin' back! Anything but bother meeeee. Oh ya. I am of teh singin. *bashes her head into the computer desk*
I was being such an idiot yesterday. I was having a hyper freak out attack and smashed - i mean SMASHED my face off of this metal chair here. I fell over and went to sleep for a few minutes then woke up and ate some cereal.
Chris was just laughing at me.. I think I suffered a minor concussion or something. I'm sure I'm fine though.
Why the FUCKING HELL do I always wake up so damn early! It's march break and I woke up at eight o' friggen clock. Ah.. I'm bored. Should I draw some more? Nah.. I think I'll find something else to do.
Well, I'm outta here. Take care all,
Chow
P.S. pissing on a river on the way along tomorrowww rancid waters picking up the remnants of a flowerrr |
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| Happy St.Patrick's Day!!! |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|01:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | nerdy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | KoRn - Beat It Upright | ] |
Yo yo yo homie g dogs
Happy St. Pattys Day. I don't even know what this day is even about, but it's an excuse to partay, so I don't care. All I know, is that I have to wear green or else I'll get pinched.
*pinches all the fuckers out there not wearing green* hahahahaha HAH! I haven't written a blog entry for a while now eh? Well here's what's going down.
Hopefully soon me and my mom are gonna gather together the ingredients to bake a king cake. Yeah I know Mardi Gras is already over but who cares? King cake is friggen good and we want some. I'm gonna show everyone my sexy baking skills. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I really want to get into the cooking / baking line of workage. I should talk to my baking teacher about that crap next year.
I think a bunch of people are going to the dungeon tonight for a special patrick's day rave, but I prolly wont go. I dunno. Kyna said she wanted me to go but unless they come to my door trying to drag me there, I aint moving today.
Tomorrow Terry's comin over to my house for the first time in months. Pretty sexy eh? He's gonna get to meet my new baby brother Nick. I think it's cute that he cares bout the baby so much. We're prolly all just gonna end up playing Yoshi's Island. Fun game. Too bad I can't do it cuz I suck that horribly.
Got the new cozydeath crap up, but you can check that out for yourself.
Ahh I have the crappiest cough. It wont go away =(
And so with all of that said, you are now caught up with My Crappy Life. Which isn't really too crappy lately. How nice is that.
Well, I'm off to randomly doodle a picture that has to do with the holidays.
Take care all,
Chow |
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| Abandoned Dreams? |
[Mar. 7th, 2005|06:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  COOKIE DOUGH! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody | ] |
Hiya hiya hiya ladys and gents
Well, I'm better and back to my great self. I can sing again! Andddd, as I sit here writing today's journal entry, I think of all the people who keep asking me. So, what ever happened to your dreams of becoming a singaaa?
Hey guys. It takes planning. It takes practise, time, learning, and patience! But I have all of those things. And don't worry, my dreams are still at large.
I've been watching the food network lately. I wonder why? I've been losing a lot of weight too. I wonder why? My voice has changed a bit which has influenced a bit of change in my singing. I wonder....why. I like it though.
*sings and dances*
My nose is still a runny / stopped up son of a bitch on wheels though. It pisses the shit out of me. It's like it never goes away it just keeps coming! I can't stand blowing my nose, the sound is terrible... but I do it anyway. And I too, unfortunately cough that nasty disgust out of my throat. Ugh but it just makes me want to puke.
Um.. well moving on to a better topic.
Monday back wasn't too painful I suppose. Everyone always blabs on about how annoying Mondays are but I'd have to say that Mondays are probably the most laid back of the week. Even more so than Fridays. I don't think I need to explain why I think that, especially if you're reading this and you go to highschool. And you're a student. Well, just shdasdjksd. You get my point.
Why is it that when you put painful pressure around your gums it doesn't really hurt it just... I dunno. It hurts but...it doesn't.
I feel like I have hair in the back of my throat but I can't get it out. Maybe I shouldn't kiss my cats.
I really want to see a Jakalope concert. Boo hoo, isn't life a crocodile. Where the shit did that come from? Yeah it's obvious that I'm feeling better isn't it?
Except I just got a random pain in the right side of my face. More secifically my jaw. Maybe I should bring the Sunny D back to the fridge.
Do you ever listen to some music.. where there's always this one beat that sounds like your parents or whatever calling you from your house so you turn the music down and listen again for your name.. but don't hear it? So you turn your music back up then hear that noise again that sounds like your name and you turn the music down and go running to your parent and it's just like "What? Like seriously can't you just come get me?"
and they're like..."You crazy teenaged bastard I didn't call you." and it's like...."God damn it."
No?
Okay maybe that's just me.
Umm... I already ate dinner... but I think I want some more. Mashed potatoes(spelt right?), and fried chicken, and all kinds of other yummy stuff. Plus hotsauce of course. Yup, finally got my mom to buy me a bottle. Of course it's the tinyest little poor pathetic excuse for a hotsauce container but it's hotsauce non the less. It tastes really salty though, abnormally salty.
They got some good American pickles in Canada now. Bout time. We always whined about how crappy Canadian pickles taste. Canadian cheese aint too great either. I wish they had that cheese in a can. I forgot what it's called but every year at Christmas we always tell nana to send some up.
Ok... now I'm writing a god damn story here. I better end this now.
Take care all,
Chow |
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| ALkjdkljsdehtgdjhfuas? |
[Mar. 5th, 2005|10:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  this face looks funneh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | erdjaskashds | ] |
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiya! That was like a karate thing. ehhhhhhh
I am slowlllllllllllly getting better. i want a cookie. anybody got a cookie? and some hotsauce? OMFG
YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT!?!?!!?!?!?
I WANT SOFT TACOS FROM TACO BELL SMOTHERED IN HOTSAUCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
oh my god *Dies*
i hope i get my taste back soon
uh...
so yeah.
o-o
..
bye bye |
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| Tear |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|07:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Paper Mario in the background | ] |
I feel so useless and pathetic cuz I'm of teh sickness. I was hoping I could finally hang out with Tamara today, but I am too sick. I miss her *whines* =/
I'll be alright. I actually got to come out of my room today. ^_^ KinZomajager said he didn't mind if I chilled in his room with him. He said "I don't mind if I get sick, then I don't have to go to school."
*evil laugh* Oh, he just doesn't know...
but, that's besides the point. I am extremely hungry and I am so sore I don't want to walk up the stairs. I'm simply sore just from sitting. EVEN MY HANDS ARE SORE!
*tear*
My mom told me to wear a mask everywhere... pfft, yeah right. I don't want to look like a stupid doctor person. I think I want some more fruitopia..
Oh yeah, I was writing this entry to say that I customized my journal account. I put some friends on my list, and filled out my profile.. I even got myself a little piccy. ^_^ Ohhh *dances* I'm good. I only did those things cause I'm bored out of my FACE though..
So yeah.. I'm leaving again.
Take care all,
Chow
(is that how I end ALL of my journal entries?) |
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| The Fluuuuuu |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|01:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  *barf* | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood | ] |
*sniff* ahhhhh today sucks royal ass! I knew that I was sick yesterday, but I didn't think it was this horrible.
I got absolutely no sleep last night because my whole body was so sore I couldn't get comfortable. I ended up waking up at 8:25 and I only had a few minutes to get up and get dressed and go to school.
I ended up signing out, obviously. I thought I was going to collapse. I have this horrible cough and.. ugh. To make a long story short, I got the flu. Yup, caught teh fluy from Cheese. But that's okay. We can be sick together. o-o
I dunno.. I have to keep myself in my room and do nothing.. so I decided to write an entry..and now I don't even want to do this because I'm developing an ear ache / head ache...
Stupid everything...
Take care all,
Chow |
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| Pain |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|12:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jakalope - Light After NIght | ] |
There is so much that life can teach you through sending you pain. It's good for me, that I know how to analyze this and take from my pain the knowledge that the Universe has sent me. One will deal with all sorts of different pains through out their life time, as they will go through all sorts of different happinesses. From both, you learn from your mistakes, get up and dusts off your knees, then keep walking.
There are times when you feel too weak to stand on your own, but that's okay. Nobody is saying you need to walk your path alone always. Although, just because someone helps you up, doesn't make them your saviour. It makes them some person that saw you stumbling along that path, and made their way into your life to help you. Most of the times, without even knowing that. And in most cases you can't always stick by those people.
The next lesson you need to learn, they may not be able to teach you. Don't become dependant on anyone. Another thing is that a lot of people need to learn how to deal with their problems in a *ahem* much more quiet way. I mean, nobody is stopping you from talking to your friends about your problems and feelings but I'd have to say that there is a point in which you should perhaps, keep your problems and thoughts to yourself.
For my whole life I have been helping friends, helping people get over their "problems". There are many people like me, but even us, need to take a break and work on our own selves. Just recently I've gotten out of my own very large hole, but I've come out of it stronger and smarter than ever. A whole different person, you could say. It is true. I am different. I've changed in a way that I believe is better for me, and I feel great. If only everyone in my life could be up to par on happiness at the same time as me.
Rune, if you are reading this, please have some hope in yourself. Because once you lose hope and believe that you can not get out of your rut, you wont be able to. And after a while you will get deep into the point where people wont even want to help you. Keep control of your problems. You have control over yourself, your emotions don't have control over you. And you certainly let them take control. You let them turn you into something foul that nobody wants to deal with. I know for a fact that I don't want to deal with a big tangled mess of crap, especially when I'm in the clouds here.
Don't get me wrong, I want to help you, but I do have limits you know. And I am only one person. You said to me that I knew where you'd be if I needed you, but I think I should be saying that to you.
If you are straightened now, I guess I can stomach talking to you and perhaps even helping you with some of the things you need help with. I dunno, giving you advice or whatever. Whether or not you wish to believe me, I have been where you are. If not for the exact same reasons, I know to an extent what you're feeling and I know how bad it sucks. So to a degree I can help you. But basically, I can only help myself.
Well anyway, this is a long journal log in which I spoke of nothing to do with my day, so I'm going to end this now. If you want to talk to me on MSN or something like that, go ahead. I'll try not to bite your head off this time.
Sorry guys for the ever so personal entry of problems.
Take care all,
Chow |
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| What a funneh girl |
[Feb. 27th, 2005|07:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Independence Day in the background | ] |
All I can say, is *ahem* "I know a girl, that makes me want to hurl myself off of a cliff with her foolish thoughts, her obscene personality and her horrible HORRIBLE "disses".."
Take care all,
Chow |
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|
| *sigh* |
[Feb. 25th, 2005|12:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Let's Get Retarded - Black Eyed Peas | ] |
Good lord.. a lot of crap has been happening lately but I have to say, I'm dealing with it pretty good! *bows* But really..
I'm datin' my girlie cheese!!! Yayyy I've had a crushy wushy on her for so long. It's awesome, I had no idea she liked me back. But we's are finally datin' and it's great.
At the same time I also realized that another friend of mine had a crush on me too, and she's taking it pretty harshly. I mean I know what it's like when you like someone and they are with another. I know how painful that feels, but for once I'm in a position that I could never understand. I could never understand how Terry felt for me being in his position, but I do now.
I care for my friend I really do. I don't want her to be hurt, I don't want her to hurt herself.. but at least I didn't go flaunting it to the world like she is. That REALLY bothers me. I will help her whenever she needs help and everything, but I have life to. I want to be happy with CHeese and I hope she can understand that.
I feel like such a stronger person since MY problems, and when she gets over hers, she'll be a stronger person as well.
I hope I can help her.
Terry and I are also doing very great. We're such good friends and I'm so glad that things between he and I worked out just fine. I can't really explain where I am right now, but it feels balanced... I feel great.
I think, actually, that I'm turning into a female Terry. Never saw that comin'... lol
Alrighty now, take care world.
OH by the way, my mom is back from the hospital!!
Chow!!! |
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| Interesting |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|10:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nothing.. But something now, cuz you made me think of music. | ] |
Hiya
I decided not to go to school today, because I was feeling incredibly horrible. I came home and discussed with my mom some things about hypomania and I talked to her about seeing a doctor and getting diagnosed or being put on pills.
I ended up realizing with a long talk with her, that she used to be exactly like me. She also made me see that taking pills wasn't going to do anything for me but turn me into a zombie. Although, we both want me to kind of, calm down, so she said she's going to find something for me to calm me down rather than changing my mind.
There is something about all of this though.. I need to embrace what I have. There is something about me, and others like me. Nevermind that though. I don't think I could explain it to anyone.
I'm on a path to great things though, and I'm getting over these horrid bumps. =P
On another note, I'm once again growing spiritually. I wouldn't necessarily label myself though. I don't think I like the label of a Wiccan. Not that I have anything against them, I just don't want to label myself. I do believe in all of their beliefs, but for some reason, Wicca just isn't IT. It's not what I'm searching for. It's not my answer. It's not.. me. Now, most of you have no idea what I'm talking about but I know there are some who do. This journal is for me anyway =X.
Ah.. I'm so tired. I don't know what the heck I'm gonna do all day. My mom wants me to stay home just incase she ends up going into labour and needs to be driven home. This way I'll be here for when Chris and Brandon get out of school or whatever. I'm also going to clean the house and cook dinner as a thank you for my mom letting me stay home and talk to her and for the most part get a lot of things straightened out.
But, it's almost lunch time and I left school wearing Terry's jacket so I'm gonna have to return it to him. >_< I'm an idiot for taking it.. but when I left the school I didn't really plan on going home I just planned on sitting out there for a while wrapped up in his jacket all warm. (His jacket is way warmer than mine)
*sigh* Alright.. I've got a lot of learning and studying and shit to do, so I shall leave this entry. I may or may not write again later on tonight.
Take care all,
Chow |
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|
| *ahem* |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|11:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Dark Reaches of SMW | ] |
Hiyaaaa. Let's get down to the entry, shall we?
So yeah. I spent today with Terry. We had lots of interesting conversations, we sat around watching tv together and shit, learned some new stuff...
All in all... it was a great day. I'm so thankful for the time I get to spend with him.. and I can't wait to see him again next. I rarely see him. Although that may be a good thing because when we do get to see each other, it feels great. For me anyway, I don't know about him. =P
The walk home was, cold.. unfortunately. We could have had a lot more fun on that walk if it wasn't so damn cold. I was frozen. But even still the walk was great.
And I'm saying this because normally when our days together end, they don't end very nicely. Today though, everything went just perfect. It felt like a movie.
I hope I don't ask too much from Terry. In any case it doesn't matter, cuz he normally just does the things he wants to do. I mean, if he wants to get me a drink, he will. Lol in other cases he'll just say "Fuck you, get it yourself" in a playful voice yes, but he means it. X_X
Oh well..doesn't bother me one bit.
Anyway, I'm gonna find something to do. Hope you enjoyed this sappy entry. Actually, I don't really care if you did.. cuz I had the best day I've had in a while and that's all that matters to me. ^-^
Take care all,
Chow |
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| Bipolar Disorder |
[Feb. 16th, 2005|10:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A Perfect Circle - Weak and Powerless | ] |
Hey hey..
Today's entry is going to be a little weird and most likely confusing so beware.
*sigh* so. For a while now, I've been concentrating really hard on my actions. The actions I do when I get upset or angry. I've always been horrible with anger and sadness. Always. In grade 9, I realized "Yeah, I have horrible down times.. but my up time is amazing! It's like my emotions are enhanced-"
Yeah no freakin' kidding. About 5 days ago, I started talking to the guidance councelors about all this. Through out this time, they've asked me all kinds of questions and put me in all kinds of situations because they were "trying to figure something out". They never told me what that was, but I found out yesterday.
They think I have "bipolar disorder". When the councelor said that I went "...bipolar disorder?" Then I thought - the night before, I talked to my net buddy who just happens to be in medical school. We were talking about, something.. I don't really remember. All I know is that we ended up -oh yeah! My display picture was of a chick who had commited suicide and then we started talking about me and being depressed. After a while, he came to the decision that maybe I should think about considering finding out if I have bipolar disorder or not.
So I looked at the guidance councelor and I just kind of sat there. I've been doing a lot of research on it. And I've come to find out a lot. The symptoms of bipolar disorder are as follow (and the ones with stars beside them are the symptoms I have):
*Increased energy, activity, and restlessness
*Excessively "high," overly good, euphoric mood
*Extreme irritability
*Racing thoughts and talking very fast, jumping from one idea to another
*Distractibility, can't concentrate well
Little sleep needed
*Unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers
Poor judgment
Spending sprees
*A lasting period of behavior that is different from usual
*Increased sexual drive
Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications
*Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior
Denial that anything is wrong
So yeah. I've also come to find, that the type of "bipolar" crap I have is called hypomania. Here's a definition that some person wrote about being hypomania-whatever:
"Hypomania: At first when I'm high, it's tremendous… ideas are fast… like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear…. All shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there… uninteresting people, things become intensely interesting. Sensuality is pervasive, the desire to seduce and be seduced is irresistible. Your marrow is infused with unbelievable feelings of ease, power, well-being, omnipotence, euphoria… you can do anything… but, somewhere this changes."
Now, when he says "high" he doesn't mean high off drugs. He means in his happy state. Everyone gets happy. But, this is how I get happy. And then, I don't know why, but all of a sudden it goes away. And that extreme happiness turns into extreme sadness/anger...
It's all so... god damn confusing!
I don't really know what to do about all this shit.. except obviously write about it and whine to people.
Christ! |
|
|
| Pet Peeves |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nothing | ] |
Hiya! "Oh wait, is it hiyA, or hIya? I mean, which one do you want me to stress the syllable on?" lol sorry, inside joke. So yeah. Yesterday, even though it was Valentine's Day, my day wasn't too horrible. Terry accepted my necklace which I was glad for. I also gave him a special Valentine's Day letter that I stayed up forever trying to finish and it made me tired as hell. I hope when he read it he didn't get too weirded out o_O...
On another note, I'm beginning my EGL outfitssss!! Yahoo =P. Cheese got to join me today and we just sat around makin' stuff. It was fun fun fun. Ahh christ I'm tired...
Anyway.. this entry is going to be short and gay 'cuz I'm having a convo with my online friend here.. he's fun.
Take care world
Chow |
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| Oopsy Daisy |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|01:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A movie in the background | ] |
Yeah yeah yeah.. I know I said I'd try to update my journal as much as possible, but I have been busy the past couple of days.. BUT.. I'm doing it now, aren't I?
Yup.. I'm here at Terry's house as he's making bacon. As a matter of fact.. he just walked up to me, put me in a headlock and bit the shit out of my ear. Hooray!!
Crappy tire I have homework tonight. Hey.. looks like we're watching a movie. Ah.. I'll go over there when I'm done. I hope my typing isn't disturbing anybody.
Hey heyyy. If anybody knows where to find any Elegant Gothic Lolita sewing patterns, pleaseeeee tell me or send the link or something like that. Cheese and I wanna start making an egl wardrobe. Fun stuff eh? I can't wait. I've already started making a couple of headpieces.
Hopefully soon I will be able to dye my hair purple! *dances* Terry said I should dye it purple and blue. If I had the money I'd do both. Yayy Cheese's parents are on the verge of letting her do her hair all crazy and shit. It's gonna look awesome.
Oh lord.. Terry's sister and her friends made a cake today. It's the scariest cake I've ever seen in my entire life. It looks NOTHING like a cake. Too bad I wasn't helping. A whole semester of baking didn't just go to waste. =P
Alrighty.. well, sorry for the 3 day waitage of updateness. Gonna go watch teh movie nowzors.
Take care world,
Chow. |
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besideoneself's journal